The No Carb & Alcohol Test: The First Hurdle

Last week I decided to take extreme measures and cut out the carbs and alcohol. I am holidaying in exactly one month and things need to change in time for the beach. A lifestyle revolving around the hearty consumption of alcohol and cheese on toast has served me well for many years but as I have a morbid fear of fat I feel it must change sooner or later.

Now, let me clarify the phrase "cut out carbs and alcohol". By cut out, I mean I will drink less than usual. "Usual" has recently grown to several glasses of wine four nights a week. "Several" means lots. You catch my drift.

As for the carbs, I'll stretch to a few spoonfuls of granola or two crackerbread in the morning if I'm feeling cheeky. Believe me, I'm dying inside. I LOVE carbs. Potato and white bread and pasta and pizza and chips. But I'm hoping to train my body into not needing these things. It's tough, and lunchtime is a minefield of taunting sandwiches and baguettes but no, I refuse to be broken.

Friday evening was a perfect opportunity for some silly alcohol induced fun, what with the beautiful weather and the outdoor drinking and whatnot. But in the company of old friends I decided to have one drink and that was it. They couldn't believe it. Lo and behold, the world didn't end and I enjoyed myself just as much as ever. Although during our dinner at Pizza Express I definitely would have rathered jump on the American Hot train rather than the Pollo Verdure salad. Oh well.

Last night was a house party with canapes a plenty and hosts willing to top up glasses willy-nilly. Some rice crackers were consumed, as well as a homemade brownie. I'm not going to lie. But, in my defence, I managed to stick to two glasses of wine for the duration of the whole night. This was very possibly the proudest achievement of my life. To fully understand why this was the case you must understand the background. I was once dubbed Party Girl Extraordinaire - a label only ever bestowed on those with dubious drinking/staying out late/dancing on table habits. This combined with my family's nickname for me of "The Common Denominator" - I have a penchant for being the one person who attends EVERY social event, regardless of bodily wellbeing, hungoverness, flying to foreign parts the next day - you may see why I feel the world should be proud of my two glasses of wine.

And with those thoughts, I will keep you posted. Just don't expect a miracle.